Fri/09/16/22 What follows is the journal entry from the first full day of my personal retreat. Several important things are taking place within me as I melt away from constant connection and begin several days of solitude. If you can make it through the stream of consciousness meandering of my journal entries on this day - and believe it or not I've cleaned it up some as I transcribed it below - one thing you'll notice is that the moment, the now, each breath and thought, begins to define so much of my moving through the day. I observe what's going on around me and I write it down. A thought sparks and I chase it down. Live, breathe, write, pray, eat, sleep, explore, think, read. Here begins a discipline of "being fully present in the moment" that becomes a hallmark of my sabbatical.
This is also the first time I've had to deeply think about and process our experience in Kenya working with our church's ministry partner there, Missions of Hope. While I don't go into much detail at all on this day, all the things are beginning to bubble to the surface. And that's a good thing. Those 2 weeks serving alongside my whole family, with 9 other students and adults from our church, and with the pastors, social workers, and teachers serving the students and community in one of the largest slums in Kenya is one that has marked my soul indelibly. There is absolutely more to follow about it in future posts.
One more thing for context. I mention the Sabbath House. It is a retreat center at the top of the mountain, one that showed up early on in my retreat planning and ultimately how I made the connection for the cabin where I stayed.
Anything below with the larger font and slightly indented red bar comes directly from my journal. Anything else is commentary I added just now for clarity. By the way I am NOT a morning person and sleeping in means anytime after 10am.
Wed/6/29/22 8:35a - What did Kenya do to me!! 8:35 and I'm already up, cleaned up some spiders and cobwebs in the bathroom...
I know, sounds frightening, but it was the Grandaddy Longlegs type, which I can handle ok. And the rustic cabin is well, rustic, nestled in beside creek and critters, so some accommodations I was quite fine to make. :-) It was cozy and perfect for me, just hadn't been lived in in a while. Continuing...
...fixed a pot of coffee, showered, dressed and halfway through my breakfast!
[There's a family of birds living in the chimney of the stone fireplace in the kitchen: I hear the flutter-whump of their wings when they come and go down the chimney. Oh! And their chirps!]
That is a question though: What did Kenya do to me?
9:15a - I've begun reading Flying, Falling, and Catching by H.Nouwen and C.Whitney-Brown.
Soundtrack: the whir of the fridge and the chatter of birds along the still, cool breeze whipping through the screened-in, large bay window in the kitchen. A bird with bright yellow coloring just landed on the bird feeder, hopeful...& maybe disappointed. I wonder if they know someone's here and it's their way of reminding me that when someone's here there should be food in the feeder. So, let me go do that. BRB...
Alright, the birds should be content and hopefully the turkeys will be, too. I've never put out turkey food before - dried corn kernels - didn't know whether to spread it along a path like I've seen farmers cast feed for chickens or to put it all in a pile. I sort of did both. We'll see. Gonna exchange a noisy fridge for chuckling creek. Moving outside...
I've caught myself several times reaching for my phone as if to check for messages or notifications...or like this morning first thing, still in bed, to check the weather.
I'd like to think that my current awareness of how often I check my phone was sharpened in these first days and throughout my sabbatical. I don't know that I check my phone any less now than before my sabbatical - maybe I do - but I do think consciously to myself, "I am checking my phone." Great and wonderful they truly are, but I don't want to serve technology or tools.
Well, even if the turkeys don't like the dried corn or come into the yard to eat it, the doves are digging it! And the feeder has its first two customers, a little brown bird and a blue one patiently waiting his turn. I wonder if they were a pair, actually, since the blue one flew away with the brown without ever partaking from the feeder.
Note that what follows is recorded much later in the day after I've explored the land around the cabin. I'm sitting outside a coffee shop in downtown Bryson City as I write.
4:15p - Did I mention how steep and long and gravelly is the road up to the cabin where I'm staying? It is! It's almost enough to keep me up here til I have to leave. Nevertheless, after hiking up to the Sabbath House...
[A black snake darted away at the Sabbath House when I rounded the corner, and I couldn't find it to get a closer look; also enjoyed some blackberries on the walk back and saved a few to have with my Ms.Smith's Peach Cobbler and vanilla icecream tonight!]
...and exploring around where I'm staying I decided to come into town where I sent the family some pics. Sophie asked what I had done today. Here's a text I sent to her
that I copied into my journal:
Also hiked around where I'm staying and had lunch and played the guitar and drove around a little before parking in downtown Bryson City where I texted Happy Birthday to BM, walked around scouting where I'm gonna have dinner, and getting online to scout out possible hiking for tomorrow...
[Then I tell her about blackberries and the driveway.]
Gonna finish my nitro cold brew - it was ok - and find somewhere to eat. Thought the coffee was just ok, it's been a nice place to sit outdoors and check my phone to see what's around here. I found a tick crawling on my leg!! Should've taken a pic. Gonna text Happy Birthday to Dad and give him a heads up that I'll call tonight from an unfamiliar number.
Because I'll be calling from the landline up at the cabin.
Lord, we breathe in.
We breathe out.
Spirit fill us.
Tomorrow has enough worries of it own. We trust you today.
Tune us to perceive what you're doing in and around us, moment by moment.
Tear down our defenses
and may Your peace guard our hearts and minds instead.
For you know all about tomorrow
and not one whit of worrying will add or take away.
See us content in your strength, hope, and love. It is enough. You are enough.
Through Jesus.
Amen.
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